


Sting

by gayhacker



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-25
Updated: 2015-06-25
Packaged: 2018-04-06 04:16:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4207596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayhacker/pseuds/gayhacker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Illumi sees an opportunity for a bad pun, and takes it. Humorous shenanigans and romantic tension ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sting

A faint noise of displeasure. The pursing of painted lips and whizzing of razor-sharp playing cards through the air. The near imperceptible _thud-thud_ of two halves of what had once been a bee hitting the floor. 

"Hisoka," Illumi sighed, exasperated. "Do you really need to kill every living thing that annoys you?"

Hisoka shrugged, tucking the card stained with a minuscule amount of blood back wherever the hell it had come from. "It stung me, so it was going to die anyway. Honeybees do that, you know. And my method was a lot quicker than the suffering it would have gone through."

"How thoughtful," mused the brunette sardonically. "I didn't realize you cared so much for insects."

"You learn something new every day." The card-welder smirked.

 

 *****

 

A few days later, Illumi perused the halls of the hotel where Hisoka was staying, looking for room 512. A cylindrical bundle was under his arm, wrapped and sealed with a bow. It wasn't Hisoka's birthday (not that Illumi knew when that was…) or a holiday, but the two had, over the years, gotten into the habit of bringing each other joke gifts on occasion. The card on the door to the other man's room said "Do Not Disturb," which Illumi knew meant Hisoka was probably taking one of his infamous showers. But even with his assassin-tuned hearing, he couldn't hear any water running on the other side. Either this hotel had unusually thick walls, or the red-haired man was lounging around in a towel, singing to himself like an idiot. Ignoring the fact that either possibility would likely lead to Hisoka answering the door half-naked,the assassin rapped his thin knuckles on the door. After a moment, a singsongy voice called from the other side, asking who it was. Illumi rolled his eyes. As if anyone would dare disturb the man besides himself. 

"It's Santa." Was the monotone reply he gave. Which, of course, was a giveaway in itself, since Illumi's monotone vocals were just as unique as Hisoka's'seductive' ones. 

The door swung open, revealing an un made-up man, his damp red hair plastered to his neck, the ends dusting his broad shoulders. A towel was wrapped around his waist, which was thicker than it seemed clothed. Gaze traveling back up to his eyes,Illumi's own dark ones were met with gleaming golden irises, laugh lines crinkled around the edges of the other man's sockets. 

"Have you come for a lesson on bungee gum?" Hisoka inquired. There was an undertone of laughter to his voice, small yet contagious. Illumi almost couldn't keep the corners of his mouth from twisting up into a grin. Almost. 

Shoving the wrapped gift into Hisoka's hands, the assassin used the leverage he gained from Hisoka fumbling to catch the gift to push the redhead into the room.

"What's this? Have you brought me a present? You know it's not my birthday," Hisoka raised his brows, face splitting into a sneaky grin. 

"No, I wouldn't know, because I don't know when your birthday is." Illumi avoided looking the half-dressed man in the eyes, fearing what they would say. "Liar," his eyes would call the assassin. And although Illumi lied a considerable amount, there was something off-putting about being labeled as one by Hisoka.

"Mhm…" Hisoka trailed off, using his manicured nails to push Illumi's face so the two were looking each other in the eye. "Well, how about I put some clothes on, and then we can open this gift, hm?" Hisoka's fingers brushed against the smaller man's jaw before he turned around and disappeared into another area of the suite. 

Illumi hopped up onto a stool, drumming his fingers on the marble. With his other hand, he reached across to gentle examine the still-tingling area of skin that Hisoka had touched. Had the man done something to it? Placed some of his bungee gum on him, perhaps? But no, Illumi could use Nen to see the bungee gum, and there didn't seem to be any connected to him. So why did it feel so weird?

Before he had time to ponder the idea anymore, Hisoka reappeared, looking casual in a red v-neck and grey sweat pants. There was a tiny strip of skin between the hem of the shirt and the band of the sweatpants that sat low on his waist, and Illumi had the nagging suspicion that Hisoka _knew_ that it was showing and that he was _teasing_ Illumi. How dare he.

"So, what have you got for me?" The older man rubbed his hands together like a kid on Christmas, although, because it was Hisoka, it looked more threatening than excited. Illumi sighed, and grabbed the package off the counter, handing it to the man standing up as if bored with the whole ordeal already. Of course, Hisoka wasn't fooled. 

"Does this wrapping paper have… puppies on it?" Hisoka raised an eyebrow, looking at Illumi curiously. 

"They didn't have what I wanted, so I picked the next best thing," Illumi explained.

"What did you want?" Was the question asked while Hisoka began using his sharp fingernails to dig underneath the wrapping and carefully undo it. 

"Open the present. Then you can know." 

The two sat in silence as Hisoka painstakingly and oh-so-carefully unwrapped the gift. Illumi resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Hisoka's unwillingness to waste things was a result of his past, surely, but it was a bit inconveniencing nonetheless. Or, it would be, if Illumi hadn't planned at being at Hisoka's the entire night.

Finally the gift was free of the pink puppy-covered wrapping paper, and Hisoka set it aside, eyes focused on the rubbed-banded cylinder in front of him.

"A poster?" 

Assuming it was a rhetorical question, Illumi didn't say anything and let the man find out for himself.

Minus the rubber bands and unrolled, it, in fact, was a poster. Upon reading what was on it, Hisoka fell into hysterics. Illumi was sure that his laughter could be heard from the adjacent room, and that they would get a noise complaint. Back on the ground, stomach rising and falling rapidly, Hisoka was breathlessly cracking up. Illumi allowed himself a small smile at the man's amusement over the gift, and looked at the poster again. 

"I BEE-LIEVE IN YOU!" was written in yellow cursive, with pictures of bumblebees and some flowers taking up the rest of the space. 

"I Bee-lieve in you. Good one, Illumi. I guess you wanted bee wrapping too? Well, it's probably for the better they didn't have it, it would have given the pun away." Illumi looked at the older man. His cheeks, normally pale behind the symbols drawn on them, were bright red and the man was out of breath. From what Illumi could see, he was making no attempt to regain his composure either. How odd.

Even with his assassin training, he couldn't have seen what was coming next. Suddenly, a pair of warm lips were pressed against his cheek, a steady hand holding back his hair. 

Cheeks turning red, Illumi could only stand there as the lips gradually made a trail from his cheek down to his mouth, and then… and then…

Illumi was always surprised at how soft Hisoka's lips were, how they felt parted against his, how easily they could take down his composure and make him melt. And all too soon, it was over. 

"What was that for?" Illumi muttered, staring at the floor, sure he couldn't possibly get any redder in the face.

"Because, Illumi, I _bee-lieve_ in you too." Illumi was wrong.

 


End file.
